Inuyasha: Silence I was, I am
by SunMoonDreamer
Summary: My name is Annia and I am 17 years old. I am here to tell you a story of an experience I had, of the time I watched episode 50.5 of Inuyasha.


My name is Annia and I am 17 years old. I am here to tell you a story of an experience I had. Something that wasn't exactly life-changing but it still shook me.

For years since I was 10, I was a fan of a classic anime named 'Inuyasha'. Like every other fan, I had various pieces of merchandise as well as copies of the manga wherever I could find them. The anime only aired on major cartoon channels and at ridiculous time slots such as 6 in the morning on a school day. DVDs were available but my parents could never find any being sold in our local area. At least, not in shops.

Two weeks ago, I went over to Mr Kawney's, one of my neighbours, for a yard sale. He had accumulated too much stuff and had decided to sell items to people who'd like them. I walked around, browsing the selections but didn't see much that interested me. I was about to leave when he called out to me, a familiar IP visible on the DVD he held. Offering the box to me, he asked if I would like to have this if nothing else. I readily agreed, I hadn't had the chance to watch it again since actual copies that weren't bootlegs were hard to find in these parts. He told me I could have it for free as it was old, the box slightly worn with age but overall, still fairly new-looking.

Thanking the kind man, I made my way home only to find it empty. Apparently, my parents were busy wit their jobs while my older sister, Makaily was out on a date with her boyfriend. Pretty suspicious but I didn't question it since I wanted to watch the show again in peace anyway. College was also out for another week so I had time.

Opening my computer's DVD compartment and placing my purchased disc in, I began to view it upon my monitor screen. The title page wasn't too out of the ordinary - the main protagonist wielding his signature sword, Tetsusaiga, on the left while various functions were displayed on the right. Clicking the episode selection option, a list of episode titles with screenshots appeared. It had episodes 40 to 50 - the arc that goes over Inuyasha's demonic side if I could recall. While scrolling through the options, I noticed another episode - one I hadn't heard of before. Oddly, it title 'Episode 50.5: Silence... I was, I am'. Somehow, I was reminded of the various stories I had read online detailing never before seen episodes - many were badly written so I didn't think much of them.

The screenshot for the episode was not there, oddly enough. I raised my eyebrow at this as it seemed to tell me that the content of said episode was classified or glitchy. Pushing back my anticipation for certain twists attributed to 'lost episodes', I selected said option and began to watch it.

As expected, the opening theme didn't play but the screen stayed black for about 7 seconds. I was about to eject the disc to check for scratches when the monitor began to play the episode. To my pleasant surprise, the episode was in great quality and had decent audio for such an old disc. Sadly, it was a raw version with no subtitles but I didn't complain - the story would come out through the images onscreen.

The main group were travelling along a path as usual on their quest to recover the shards of the Sacred Jewel and defeat Naraku (the main antagonist of the show and an absolute creep). Kagome wore her typical school uniform with that ridiculously short green skirt while Sango carried her signature boomerang bone with a single hand over her shoulder. The girls were speaking amongst themselves, likely about various subjects of interests - demons, Kagome's studies, Miroku, etc. At least that's what I think they're talking about. Speaking of Miroku, said monk in traditional purple shrine attire was easedropping shamelessly, his golden staff jingling with each step he took. A small ginger-haired boy with paws rather than feet and a large fox tail named Shippo perched on his shoulder and watched the three humans. Kirara; a small two-tailed kitten with cream fur and black markings mimicked him on Sango's shoulder. Ahead of them, a golden-eyed teen with waist length silver hair and distinctive puppy ears atop his head walked with broad strides - the half-demon, Inuyasha (the main character). His bright red fire rat kimono and sword strapped in at the waist sent a wave of nostalgia through me, prompting me to remember the early episodes of the show, namely how he had gotten Tetsusaiga.

The first five minutes were tame, mainly consisting of the girls chatting and Miroku being a pervert as usual while Inuyasha scoffed at any ridiculous remark made be it at someone else or him specifically. The typical group dynamic, I found it both annoying and entertaining. I hadn't noticed it at first but oddly enough, no music was playing in the background but it didn't make much of a difference. Through it all, I was honestly tempted to fall asleep but didn't so I decided to glance around my room until something more interesting happened. As I took in my surroundings, I noticed that everything was dyed in silver-blue hues, dim and dark yet light enough to somewhat make out where everything was. It was evening. Odd, I was sure that it was still supposed to be midday, I hadn't been watching it for even half an hour. Something wasn't right, I knew that. Regardless of the bizarre occurrence, my attention snapped back to my computer screen when a new voice came on through the speakers.

The group were now at an unusually large traveller lodge and a friendly man appeared to be welcoming them, he must live in a nearby village. The humans of the troupe looked relieved to have a place to stay for the night and stepped into the building, Shippo and Kirara scampering after them. Inuyasha, on the other hand, seemed to pause, glancing at the forest with a troubled look on his face. He stood there staring before turning back to the lodge, seeming to hesitate before strolling into it. Now I knew something was definitely wrong. He hadn't scoffed nor had he made a sound worth noting, he had been silent. It wasn't rare but not common either. If I had to guess, he looked as if he was reluctant to stay at this house.

The raven-haired schoolgirl turned her brown eyes to the half-human and spoke to him. Judging by the large towels in their arms, the girls were going to find a nearby hot spring to bathe in, at least I assume so. She's likely telling him so he wouldn't bother her about where she's going, just in case anything bad happens so he'll know where to find her. Not that it'd make a difference, he would have tracked her by scent anyway. Inuyasha merely scoffed and taking it as a 'go ahead', she and the brown-haired demon slayer strolled off out of the lodge with their smaller demon companions in tow. Seating himself down against the wall with his legs crossed, Inuyasha merely watched, bored as Miroku flirted with every female villager that happened by their temporary shelter. I felt the corners of my mouth lift into a small smile, amused by the familiar reactions of the dog-eared boy. I honestly would feel the same as he did. Almost jarringly, the scene cut to the group asleep on futons (except Inuyasha who slept upright, propped up against the wall with his sword leaning against his shoulder). Said silver-haired swordsman opened his eyes, honey-gold glowing dimly in the dark room. He quietly got to his feet, movements much more graceful than usual and footsteps practically silent as he advanced towards the screen-door. Unnoticed by his slumbering companions, he slipped out of the lodge and walked off into the forest he had glanced at earlier, shadows swallowing him as he went deeper amongst the trees. I couldn't help but wonder if he had sensed something and had gone off to investigate but his relaxed posture told me otherwise.

The next scene was of Kagome walking around the area surrounding the lodge, calling out for Inuyasha. The half-demon hadn't returned since his mysterious departure the previous night and that worried her greatly as he usually came right back. Miroku and Sango were searching too, asking around the local village but came back with nothing from what I could tell. No one had seen him. The raven-haired girl was about to storm out to try again but stopped when a young girl, about 12, with a low ponytail walked over to them and told them something that made them question her. Images of the little girl not being able to sleep and seeing the silver-haired man walk into the forest played onscreen as she spoke. The three adolescents exchanged looks. Miroku spoke kindly to the girl, lightly shoving her towards who I'm guessing is her mother. The monk rubbed the back of his head, hand brushing over dark-brown locks.

A loud knock at my bedroom door made me jump in my seat. I paused the episode just as Kagome was about to speak. I stumbled through the low light, opening my door to a pitch black corridor. No one was there, the lights were all off. There wasn't anything there, only darkness and silence. This sent a chill through my body and thinking back on it, I might have been, no, I **was** scared. I closed my door quietly and tried to switch my room's light on. It didn't work. Looking out the window, I noted the same details - neither the family car or my parents' cars were there, the streets deserted and homes seeming empty. Not a sound or movement. Nothing. My mind was racing with growing panic at that point. _Ok, calm down. Everyone's probably just a little more tired than usual and are asleep. They're still there, just out of sight. It's just paranoia... Maybe if I continued the episode, I'll find out. I really don't want to deal with the silence anymore._

Shuffling my way back to my starkly lit chair and desk, I continued to watch the video. Surrounded by the darkness of my room, I wasn't sure what I expected to happen next but I probably should have seen it coming.

It seemed to glitch and skip to the rest of the troupe walking through the forest. I mentally sighed as I noticed the trees and plants bathed in evening hues. It had frequently been a pet peeve of mine ever since I had grown out of my childish naivety. I mean, who walks into a forest in search of a friend at **night**? Forcing down my irritation, I waited to see how it would all play out.

Perceived minutes passed, still no sign of Inuyasha. Kagome was beginning to seem frantic, tearing through bushes and undergrowth while Sango and Miroku kept their distance behind her. A shadowed figure watched from among the trees, a monster maybe? Eventually, the troupe came to an empty clearing save for a small pile of grey stones at the base of one of the taller trees, Japanese characters etched into the bark. They were too neat to have been there naturally, obviously someone must have decided to carve some sort of message into a tree. Were they hoping someone would happen by and see it? In spite of my speculations, I noticed the same figure from before standing in the background, half hidden by trees as Miroku examined the tree and stones.

I wasn't sure what was written on the tree but when Miroku read out Inuyasha's name, I had to do a double take. What was Inuyasha's name doing on a tree in a forest he had no connection to? Then again, he was a vagabond for a long time so maybe someone thought to commemorate his visit? Nah, no one would have cared enough to do that, what with the mass prejudice of half-demons in the show. Now that I think about it, the pile of stones seemed too neat to be natural - it looks to be a marker of sorts. But for what? The hitching of Kagome's breath brought me out of my train of thought, sorrow and shock playing upon her countenance. Sango was less emotional, her brow furrowed as she asked Miroku a question. The aforementioned monk seemed to be theorising, at least I think he was, when a rustle came from among the bushes.

Tensing into battle positions, Miroku and Sango waited for their uninvited visitor to emerge. To the surprise of both the characters and myself, Inuyasha stepped out into the moonlit clearing but he seemed... off. He was wearing nothing but his long cream undershirt that reached down to mid-thigh, the necklace of subjugation with its purple marbles and fang shaped beads lying upon his collar bones. His signature red clothing and sword were missing from his person. The usually vibrant eyes were dim and blank, void of emotion, no smile or scowl upon his now pale lips. A sense of unease came through me as Kagome addressed their found friend. He didn't respond, taking several moments to shift his unfocused gaze to the schoolgirl. A thick silence floated between them before the half-demon opened his mouth to speak but the video glitched, prompting me to peer behind my monitor to check for loose wires. I found none. After about 2 seconds, it resumed but this time, the characters spoke English.

"Why are you all here?" asked Inuyasha, his voice but a whisper, low and soft. Nothing like the gruff tone he usually spoke with. I'm starting to think the disc might have been tampered with, not that I hadn't suspected something like that. But it never crossed my mind that Mr Kawney would do such a thing, he was too nice for such a thing. That and he always had so much trouble with technology, it couldn't possibly have been him. If not him, who?

"We were searching for you. We couldn't find you this morning." Miroku explained, tone gentle as though placating a scared child. I couldn't help but wonder why since Inuyasha was physically about the same age as him. Said boy merely responded by tilting his head in questioning manner at the monk.

"Searching... for me?" He sounded unsure as if he couldn't understand why anyone would do that. Miroku continued.

"Yes. We were worried that something may have happened to you." Inuyasha's ears twitched as he straightened himself to look as brash as he usually was.

"Something did happen. A long time ago." Like his face, his voice was deadpan and lacked emotion but his eyes were sharp, almost glaring at the monk. Miroku paused in his efforts to make his way over to the boy.

"Would you mind telling us what happened?" he asked kindly, likely not wanting to aggravate the half-demon. After all, he wasn't exactly dealing with a young child but a full-grown man who could easily beat him with his bare hands. I watched, mind struggling to keep up, as Inuyasha's brow furrowed slowly before he complied.

"A demon, a huge snake demon. It was chasing me." He paused as he watched Miroku slowly inch closer towards him but ignored it and elaborated.

"I tried to get away, tried to find somewhere to hide but it bit my leg. I fell, I couldn't feel my leg." He shivered as the memory replayed in his mind. I leaned forward, watching said memory play out on the screen as he narrated.

"I crawled into this clearing and I felt the snake bite me again. It kept biting and biting until everything went black." I watched as a younger version of Inuyasha, who looked no older than 7, cried out in pain and fear, the snake assaulting him every second. Bite marks visible on the boy's arms and legs, his clothes tearing and ripping with each violent attack. I had to swallow a lump in my throat as I saw the child go limp in the demon's jaws, the snake letting the corpse hit the ground with a sickeningly loud thud. It cut back to the present and I saw that Miroku had made his way over to Inuyasha's side, eyes bright with sorrow and sympathy, hand tentatively resting upon the boy's shoulder. Sango moved to stand on the other side of him, mirroring Miroku's gesture.

"Do you know what happened to you then?" Sango asked, voice soft with sympathy and barely hidden pity. I wanted to know as well. Maybe it was just typical ignorant thinking but I thought that a child that young wouldn't know if they had, well, passed away. A nod confirmed that he did in fact know of his own demise but the question remained; if Inuyasha had died when he was still a child, why was he walking amongst the living? Or rather, how was he seemingly alive afterwards? Again, I was interrupted by the episode progressing but this time, it was the silence that confused me. Was the audio failing? Did my speakers break? I was tempted to check but the sound of dropping bodies denied that thought.

Everyone except Inuyasha was on the ground but they were eerily still. No movement, not even breathing. _What just happened? Did... Did something get them?_ Inuyasha stood still, eyes covered by silver bangs before stepping over Miroku's face-down body. I watched as he dragged Kagome, Shippo and Kirara's bodies over from the other side of the silent clearing. Nothing but the sound of clothing scuffing against the ground could be heard. No birds. No rustling. No low whistling of wind. Nothing. Just choking silence.

Stepping back from the pile of bodies, he watched with dead eyes as small snakes slithered out of the surrounding foliage and onto the pile of lifeless carcasses. I could scarcely believe what I was seeing; Inuyasha was watching as his friends were devoured by the very creatures that had taken his life and didn't seem at all fazed. This wasn't right. He should have been frantic , moving to save them. This... It felt... wrong.

Turning away from the writhing mass before him, he strolled soundlessly past his grave back into the depths of the forest, slowly murmuring a simple sentence.

"I was alive... I am alive." I froze. The title, the strange wording of the title card... It was referring to this, reflecting the child-like illusion of living the poor boy had deceived himself into believing. I watched as the shadows consumed him once again.

After the episode faded to black, the episode selection screen came on again, the bright colours glaring in comparison to the muted and dull tones of the last scenes of episode 50.5. Stumbling, I moved to the light switch and flipped it again, the bulb working this time. I blinked rapidly as my eyes readjusted to the brightness before I turned back to the computer. Ejecting the disc, I placed it back into the DVD box and stashed it in a desk drawer. As it shut with a soft clunk, I heard the sounds of my sister walking in through the front door, kicking her shoes off and hanging her purse on a peg. Relief flooded through me, tension evaporating from me almost instantly. The silence was over.

After that, I just returned to my normal life. I didn't speak of the incident with anyone since it hadn't really affected me or my life but I have noticed that I now feel very anxious when alone or in a very quiet room, having to listen to music with earphones in order to sleep comfortably. I still watch the DVD whenever I had time though episode 50.5 mysteriously disappeared after that night, like Inuyasha had in said episode.

It seemed a little strange but I wonder if it was just a one-time trick or if it would come back again. I don't know but I probably should be more careful in the future. Who knows if I'll see something worse someday.

But...

I just can't shake this feeling that it's not over... Why is that?


End file.
